159. Bodies and Spirits

“Bodies and Spirits”

There is a tapestry of illness weaving our global clan together these days. Mild, moderate, and teeth clenching ailments are all represented. I shan’t go into details, as they would delight only the ghouls among you. We spent our wedding anniversary feeling the magic of homemade rasam in our collective diaphragm.

We also had to make sure A stayed somewhat hydrated, which can be a massive challenge when he’s unwell and droopy. He is almost all better, and bellowing with happiness to have at least a froggy throat back.

It’s hard to work with small pieces. The promise of wellness is not like actual wellness. The hour of clarity after you neti-ed your face, and before the congestion rolls back. Go away, weeks of residual coughing. The kitteny fragility of asthmatic breathing.

Working on emotional wellbeing can be like that too. Making symbols out of flotsam, and hoping that they add up to a big picture someday soon. I haven’t wanted to write anything for a while because disability inclusion seems even more like a joke than usual during the December hiatus. And I’ve been too beaten down to take some batty, perky view of things at what is commonly a very tough time of year for autism families.

But what else is there? The deep sigh of acceptance of the reality before us, the will to struggle against each particular beast, and the effort to find peace with the process.

They’re all wrapped up together—the body, the mind, and our spiritual selves. Evidence based findings, and the insights from our prayers. Checking out physically, while healthy life flows around us. A spiritual desert can feel like our forever home, while the mirage of liberation refuses to abandon us.

There is no one cure. No one explanation. No one overarching message. The details all matter. Every speck, every dust mote. With whatever power we have, we keep one another from fragmenting.

What makes me feel that healing is possible is my belief that there can be wisdom without condescension. Vulnerability without powerlessness. Honesty without destruction. Community without rampaging ego. Love without erasure.

Radha.

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